Mario’s Supernova Galaxy

Slowly jumpin’ up a wall

Faster than a bullet bill

Where were you while we were doing mushrooms?

Variations on a Theme: Earth Boring

Earth Boring

Video Games Are COOL!!!

“Dangnabbit! Those dang kids spray-painted their graffitis on my truck again.”

“Chuck, why don’t you just change the name?” asked Mindy.

“Ah, hell, I’m proud of what I do to the Earth.”

***

### Intercepted alien transmission begins: ###

Earth boring

Video games cool

Hating school

Dearth of activities

[Snoring]

### Transmission ends. ###

The Boring Machine

Max was reading a book that he couldn’t put down. He flipped through pages while he sat on his couch. He was so focused on the pages before him that his eyes could have burned holes through the paper. Simon, his loyal cat, read but three words from the book before his eyes became heavy and slammed shut. Simon curled up in a ball and purred. Only Max and the book seemed to exist.

Suddenly, Natalia appeared in front of the door frame next to the couch. “Hey baby! How’s that box?” she asked. Her pearly white teeth showed her excitement. And her smile betrayed her confidence: she knew she had given him something exciting.

“Huh?” Max replied as he looked up from his book. He looked at the book shelf straight ahead; it was so full that books would sometimes spill onto the ground. He focused on the black box atop the shelf only for a moment before returning to his book. “Oh, you mean that boring machine. I…” He didn’t get a chance to finish.

“Whaaaa? And after all I went through!” As she stormed off, her rumbling and grumbling seemed to rival that of the thunderstorm brewing outside.

Max’s eyebrows arched upwards. He put the book down. “What was that about?” he asked himself, scratching his head. His eyes returned to the black box: it was an experimental and miniaturized tunnel boring machine he had brought home from work. He looked to the right of the machine seeing, for the first time, a new video game console sporting a pretty red bow.

Max’s jaw dropped. “Uh oh!”

Interview with a Zombie

“Good evening, I’m Pat Smith and let’s get straight to tonight’s top story: there’s an apparent catastrophe brewing in Metropolis City.”

Moving away from the TV screen, one could see sunlight filter through the windows, beckoning pasty-faced gamers to run and tumble outside. Mike decided he would rather play. He turned away from the light and picked up his controller to continue playing a video game. He started watching the screen as the game’s cut-scene further unfolded on his TV.

“Xgy News’ own Gord Howe is on the scene to interview a resident of the city. Gord?”

The game cut to a shot of the city’s downtown. Several tumbling tumble weeds rolled by on the screen. Time inched forward like a three-legged turtle who had seen better days. The camera cut to a major intersection within the city’s downtown core.

Two large buses, as well as two stuffed garbage trucks, were parked diagonally, blocking the intersection. Inside the vehicles, the lights were still on, the doors still open, and there was still piping hot coffee on the floor of the bus. Packages, parcels, and newspapers littered the bus seats, and one can imagine the streets reeking of rotten eggs since soiled garbage bags blanketed the ground.

At last, a reporter popped up on the screen. “Hi Pat, yes, we are here in downtown Metropolis City and…”

“Grrrrrrr!” This strange sound seem to come from somewhere behind the reporter.

“Uh I’m not sure what that was, Pat, but we’re now going to interview a resident about what happened here.” Gord stretched out his finger and tapped a maggot infested man; his shoulder fell to the ground with a splat. The reporter cleared his throat and asked, “What exactly happened here, sir?”

“Grrrrrrrr grrrrr grrr!”

“Okay,” Gord replied, “do you have anything to add?”

“Frrrrrrreeedoom!” bellowed the zombie. Bellowed with such force, in fact, that the same zombie’s jaw plopped off his face, and Gord’s hair piece went flying off of his head. Gord’s eyes became as wide as extra large pepperoni slices, and he dashed off in search of his hair.

“Ba-back to you,” Gord sheepishly concluded.

In the newsroom, Pat’s mouth hung open. “Well,” he said after clearing his throat, “there you have it folks. Stay tuned tomorrow for more updates from downtown.”

After the cut-scene ended, Mike pressed pause on his controller. “Hmmmm,” he thought, “That was a strange episode. I wonder what will happen next in this crazy world?” He picked up the controller to play.

I Caught My Boss Playing My Video Games

He said he was going to teach me a valuable lesson about productivity. He only learns things the hard way.

You Know How I Know I’m More Responsible Than You?

You go out and live your life.

I stay indoors and play video games.

You Know How I Know I’m Responsible?

I stay indoors playing video games all day.

I’m doing it for you.

Karl Marx Played My Video Game

He Liked It?

I traveled back in time to let Karl play.

The most impressive part of that adventure, for me, was what he said.

He sat on a couch resting his chin on his fist, which was stained red because he had begun painting his new house’s white picket fence.

As I lay in wait, my heart bumped faster than the beats coming out of a techno DJ’s speakers.

He burned holes in the TV with his eyes and stroked his long beard, before delivering his verdict:

“This so-called video game shall one day be the second greatest opiate of the people.”

That was all I needed to hear; I was already on my way out once the last spittle flew out of his mouth.

I traveled back to the present faster than a Stalinist-era judge would deliver his show trial verdict.

What do I make of the prediction?

On the one hand, I was pleased my game would relax people and sell out.

On the other hand, I wasn’t too keen on brainwashing the masses…

Time would tell, I thought.

Oh, damn, I left the game with him!

Why Millennials Love to Play Video Games

The Strange Reason Will Surprise You

Here’s an Explanation for The Empty Post Above

(1) I was either too busy playing video games to start the post, or

(2) I didn’t think the topic was worth entertaining.

Perhaps you could come up with your own theory.